Guilt Erased by Grace

Now that I have penned my first blog, I am relieved but this has meant that I need to follow through on the feedback I received from the first blog. A close friend asked me about guilt and shame and that’s what’s prompted me to write this blog.

I think as a woman, I am blessed to play multiple roles be it- daughter, sister, wife, friend and mom and this becomes part of what makes me... Me. And then, there is GUILT and I remember all the guilt I felt when I first received my son’s diagnosis of Autism. A mental flashback of all that I  thought I did wrong to cause and contribute to his diagnosis. The guilt of how I couldn’t have seen this sooner being an Occupational Therapist by profession, what I did wrong when I conceived him (my unhealthy diet, did I take any medications for a cold, flu etc. ), the list was never-ending. Fast-forward to the present time and the guilt is still present but now it’s moved on to other things… am I pushing my kids too hard, How do I explain Autism – the Hidden Disability , do I spend enough time with the kids, am I doing all I can as a wife, daughter, friend etc.

The one thing that has kept me sane and not driven me to lose my mental sanity is GRACE.

Grace is defined as unmerited favour of God on us. This is what has made me the woman I am today and I have been blessed by the Grace of God and His grace shown to me through my family, church, friends and coworkers.

Since I have been blessed and my guilt has been erased by grace, I want and need to pay it forward through the grace that I can show to people whom I meet in my day to day life and to those whom I might never meet ( my friends who are all over the world and my social media friends). Grace can be demonstrated through a kind word, a smile, lending a helping hand, picking up the good old phone to talk to a friend or a coworker about things more than work and our problems but appreciating them for who they are and their significance in our lives. As Occupational Therapists, we are trained to see the whole person so, I know that it would be impossible to do our jobs as OT’s without grace.
We are always going to have guilt, but what we should NEVER forget is that we as women are always giving it our ALL..so let’s have grace on ourselves and let’s erase that guilt by doing something that makes us happy. Our Self Regulation strategies could be different-  it could be a spa day, shopping, watch a movie or two on Hallmark, hanging out with friends or the simple 5 minutes we get in the washroom or a closet to gather our thoughts. We all need to re-charge our batteries ( how proficient we are in charging our iPhones)  because we too can run low and that’s when guilt sets in and we second guess ourselves.

It’s grace that you have demonstrated by reading this blog as I am a non significant minion in this big wide world.. Thank you and continue to be the graceful people you are…..Cheers